Something Wonderful Page 11
“Right then, sit your arse down. I’ll cook you something.”
“A slice of toast will do.”
“No, it won’t, and say goodbye to kebabs and all that other rubbish you shovel in. Fruit and veg are about to become your new best friends.”
“Kill me now,” she said with a frown. “I don’t want it.”
“Tough!”
After a delicious breakfast of eggs benedict and spinach, served on a toasted muffin, she made her excuses and retreated to get dressed.
“You know, I quite enjoyed that brekkie.” She strutted into the kitchen, looking fresh.
I pretended not to notice what she was wearing, even though the words what the hell bounced around my brain. “That’s good because you’re having steamed fish, cabbage, carrots, and sprouts for dinner this evening.”
“On your own head be it, Shell. Cabbage gives me shocking wind, you know that, and sprouts, oooh, you’re in for a rough night of it.”
“I lived with Richie for years, so the farting I can get used to, but I haven’t told you the best part yet.”
“Do I even wanna know?”
“You’ll wash it all down with a nice glass of cabbage water.”
“You can forget that.” She made retching noises. “Nana used to make us drink that. It smelled like sweaty gusset.”
“Yeah, I know how bad it tasted, and smelt, but it’s good for you and what you have I’ll have too.”
“It’s not happening.”
“We had a deal, remember.”
“I really hate you right now, Michelle.”
“Be a good girl, Margaret Jane and I might let you have a slice of cake for dessert.” I laughed as she stuck two fingers up at me.
Chapter Twenty four - Surprise!
“It won’t be long, Mags.”
“We’ve been here ages already and Richie is waiting outside for us.”
“So? He can work from his car if need be.”
“I don’t like to put people out.”
“Look, stop worrying about things you don’t need to worry about.”
The side door opened, and a nurse walked toward us.
“Margaret Jane, would you like to come with me please? Doctor would like a word with you.”
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Doctor will explain everything.”
Not more bad news. I couldn’t cope.
“Come on, let’s get it over with.”
I followed them into the room.
“Take a seat please, Miss Milner.”
“Is something wrong?” she asked, taking a seat.
I sat next to her and braced myself for the worst.
“My name is Dr Mao, and I’m on the team overseeing your care. I’m sorry to say this, but it appears something very important was missed during the tests, so we have had to alter your treatment plan somewhat.”
“Such as what?” I asked, terrified what was coming next.
“Let the man speak, Shell.”
“There is no easy way to say this, but you’re pregnant.”
“What? I can’t be.”
Don’t faint again, I told myself.
“There is no doubt about it and it was checked three times to make sure.”
“Shit.” Maggie Jane looked stunned. “I’m still having periods, so how is it possible?”
“It isn’t unheard of.”
“It’s crazy,” I said. “Did you have no idea?”
“Why would I?”
Doctor Mao spoke up. “Your pregnancy could also explain the feelings of lethargy and inability to keep food down, so before we move onto treatment, I’d like you to have an ultrasound and determine how far into the pregnancy you are.”
“I can’t be pregnant. It’s not possible.”
“Course it is. Bloody Spud,” I said out loud. “Have you never heard of condoms?”
“He pulled out,” Maggie Jane said. “What am I going to do?”
I wasn’t even going to address Spud pulling out at the appropriate moment. Now wasn’t the time. “There is no need to panic as there is no evidence chemotherapy will harm the baby. We will ensure you have a break between your last chemotherapy session and the birth. It may very well be the case, should you decide to continue with the pregnancy, you will continue treatment afterwards.”
“What do you mean if she decides to continue with the pregnancy?” I was seething inside and didn’t agree with abortion unless necessary.
“Some women choose to terminate under the circumstances.”
Maggie Jane stepped into the conversation. “Well, I’m not some women, Dr Mao, and this baby will be going nowhere until he or she is cooked and ready to come out.” She put her hand against her stomach. “If he or she is in there, it is meant to be, and I won’t do anything to jeopardise its chances of survival.”
“I’m sorry if I offended you. It wasn’t my intention at all.”
“You didn’t but as long as you know where I stand.”
“Quite!” he replied. “Now onto the ultrasound to make sure baby is thriving, then we carry on.”
Could this situation get any stranger?
I expected a long day sitting and waiting while my sister had chemotherapy. Now we were waltzing out of the oncology department toward maternity. Life really does throw curveballs at times.
“I can’t believe this, Shell.”
“What are you going to tell Spud?”
“I won’t tell him anything.”
“How come?”
“He’s a free spirit and has gone to Thailand for a few months. If he looks me up when he returns, I’ll tell him, otherwise, why bother?”
“I have to ask this, so please forgive me.”
“Save your breath, Shell. I’m keeping the baby.”
“Okay, I just wanted to be sure.”
We walked through the doors in the maternity ward.
They were waiting for us.
“Margaret Jane Milner for an ultrasound,” I told the receptionist.
“Ah, very good, go straight through.”
I held her hand as they squirted the cold jelly onto her belly. How hadn’t I noticed before? She was showing already.
“Okay…” Kaylee, the sonographer said. “Here we go.”
And then I could see what I saw with Dillon–my niece or nephew.
“So, do you see the outline of baby there?” She pointed to the screen.
Maggie Jane didn’t say a word.
“Are you okay, Mags?”
“I can’t believe it,” she cried. “My own little miracle.”
“Looking closer, I would estimate you to be about twenty two weeks pregnant. Does that sound about right to you?”
“I don’t have a clue. I’m still having periods.”
“Okay, well this is fairly accurate. Five and a half months you are. Would you like to know the baby’s gender?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Maggie Jane looked to me. “What should I do?”
“Whatever feels right,” I said, touched but still shocked by the turn of events.
“Go on, tell me before I change my mind.”
“Congratulations. You’re going to have a little girl.”
Nothing Maggie Jane said would keep the tears from falling. I was in floods and so was she.
“My very own little girl.”
∞∞∞
After spending time at the maternity department, we returned to see Doctor Mao and a new treatment plan was formulated.
Maggie Jane would still have chemotherapy, the mastectomy and radiotherapy but it would be tailored around her pregnancy.
She would be monitored closely to ensure the treatment didn’t affect the pregnancy. If it came to it the baby would be induced, but I knew my sister would allow nothing to interfere with the health of her baby. Not even her own health.
Richie was in shock when we told him the news, but I could see how worried he was.
When we were alone, he conf
ided his fears in me.
“Will the pregnancy lower her chances of survival?”
“I don’t know but you know Mags. The baby will come first.”
“I hope for both their sakes… well, you know.”
“I know, but if anything, this baby will make her fight harder.”
“I can’t imagine Mags with a kid.”
“Me either, but if you’d seen her face when she watched the scan. It made me cry.”
“I bet, you big softie.”
“Are you okay for a bit? I need to call Carol and Valerie and let them know what’s what.”
“Yeah, fine, but why don’t you invite them both over? I haven’t seen Valerie for years and it’s about time I met this Carol, don’t you think?”
“If you’re sure, but I need to speak to Mags and see if she’s up for visitors.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” She walked into the kitchen. “Let’s have one last shindig before the madness starts.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, positive. Besides, I want everyone to see this picture of Hope.”
“Hope?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she replied. “I decided there was no better name.”
Chapter Twenty five - A Bun in the Oven
“I’m so nervous,” I said, walking through the house with Carol.
“So am I but it had to happen sooner or later.”
“I know, but I wasn’t expecting it tonight of all nights.”
“Well, it was Mags who wanted to see you and Valerie. She has something to tell you.”
“It’s not bad news is it?”
“Let her tell you. Valerie is already there and on her second cocktail.”
“Mags isn’t drinking, is she?”
“No, she’s decided to be sensible and is having a mocktail instead.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“You will.”
I walked into the conservatory with Carol.
Richie stepped forward and held out his hand.
All very cordial, I thought.
“Hi, I’m Richie and you must be Carol.”
“Yeah, it’s good to meet you finally.”
My nerves were jangling. The soon to be ex-husband meeting my first girlfriend. Thank the lord Dillon was at Rob’s for the night.
“Can I get you a drink?”
“A vodka and soda please.”
“Coming right up.”
I looked to Carol. “That was okay.”
“Yeah, better than I expected.”
“Carol, darling,” Valerie shouted as she approached. “When did you get here?”
“A few minutes ago.”
“Come and sit by me. Apparently, Margaret Jane has an announcement to make.”
Right on cue, Maggie Jane walked in looking amazing. I hadn’t seen her look so well in weeks. “Hi everyone. Do you all have a drink?”
“We all do now.” Richie handed Carol and me our drinks.
“Come on, darling. I’m chomping at the bit here.” Valerie slugged her drink back and waved the glass at Richie. He held his hand up.
“Okay, well, I wasn’t expecting to say this, so I’ll spit it out–I’m pregnant.”
I watched as Carol’s mouth dropped.
“Well, fuck-a-duck,” said Valerie, charming as ever. “That calls for a bloody big drink.”
∞∞∞
Maggie Jane sat in the hospital ward, an intravenous drip in her arm. “Why does time go so slow when I don’t wanna do something?”
“That’s life, Mags.”
“It’s shit.”
“Right now, yes it is, but this is session number one. Only seven more to go, then…”
“They take my boob away.”
“Yes, but they can rebuild it right away. You won’t know the difference, especially if they can save your nipple.”
“You make it sound so easy, Shell.”
“I’m trying.”
She put her hand on top of mine. “I know, and I love you for it, but I have to be realistic.”
“Deal with it as it happens, the doctor told you that.”
“He’s not the one sitting in a chair having poison pumped into him or facing being mutilated. I’m scared they’re wrong and Hope will be affected somehow.”
“They know what they’re doing, Mags.”
“I know but it doesn’t make it any easier right now.”
“If Hope is anything like you, she will be as strong as an ox and just as awkward as you are. Don’t you remember what you were like as a kid? A tenacious little know-it-all.”
She burst out laughing. It was good to see.
“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“You’re a silly cow, but I love you.”
∞∞∞
Maggie Jane took to her bed the day after her first chemotherapy, feeling nauseous.
She had a hard time keeping anything solid down, but two days later, it was like she’d never had the treatment at all.
I was sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea when she walked in and made the announcement.
“I’ve decided I’m not sitting around waiting for my hair to fall out, Shell.” She waved a set of hair clippers at me. “This is the only part of this journey I can control, so it has to go.”
“Don’t do anything rash, Mags, you know there’s a chance it won’t fall out.”
“I didn’t use the cold cap. It’s gonna go and I need to take charge here rather than wake up to chunks of it on my pillow every morning.”
I wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing, but it was her journey. I had to support her.
“Okay, but if you’re shaving your head, so am I.” It wasn’t something I’d ever given thought to, but it felt right.
“Don’t be so bloody stupid. You don’t need to do that.”
“I know, but we’re in this together.”
“You know, you might look like one of those coneheads from that movie we watched.”
“Shut it you and pass me those clippers.”
“Are you certain about this?”
“Are you?” I asked.
“Positive.”
“Then so am I.”
Chapter Twenty six - Wigs, Glorious Wigs
Days turned into weeks and Maggie Jane stuck rigidly to her treatment plan. She was always sick after chemo, but never let it stop her.
Her diet was exemplary, and I knew she was doing all she could to keep baby Hope cooking for as long as possible. I admired her courage greatly. She never, ever complained about anything, not even the cabbage water, no matter how disgusting it tasted, and it did.
Still, we plodded on, and her oncology team was pleased with the progress.
A few minor hiccoughs along the way but nothing major.
Today was the day Maggie Jane would pick up her wig.
She could have picked one and received a voucher from the NHS to pay for it but remained adamant she wasn’t going to drain anymore money from an already stretched system.
I was surprised by her choice, with it being shorter and punkier than her usual Stevie Nicks-esque hairdo. Well, unless she had it tied back and accessorised with chopsticks.
“I actually like it–it suits your face.”
She looked in the mirror, turning, making sure she caught all angles. “I fancied a change, but I agree, it looks good and when my own hair comes back, I might go for this style.”
“A lot of women do,” the assistant said. “But you look wonderful.”
“Thank you.”
I ran my fingers across my own bald head. It felt like Velcro and needed to be shaved again. It didn’t faze me and after I’d gotten over the initial shock of it, I found it liberating and to my surprise, discovered I didn’t miss my hair. But I knew there was a difference. I chose to shave my hair off, but Maggie Jane and the other brave women like her often didn’t have the choice. My sister only pre-empted what she guessed would happen.
�
�And what about you? Are you going to get yourself a wig?”
“No,” I replied, adamant. “Until your hair grows back, mine stays off.” I didn’t mind being seen bald either and hadn’t worn a hat, or a scarf. In fact, I’d had more compliments since shaving my head than ever in my life. Even Richie said I looked stunning. Dillon told me he was proud of me and offered to shave his head. Absolutely not, I said. He would be excluded from school; shaved heads against the rules. It was a good try though.
Carol took a little more convincing but understood my reasons for doing it. She still found me beautiful and told me daily, but I think she preferred her women with more hair.
“Come on then, shall we go and debut my new hair?”
“Are you sure you’re up for that?” I worried too much.
“As long as I take it easy, yes, I’ll be fine.”
“Okay, but you’ve got your chemo tomorrow, so don’t make it a late one.”
“I don’t think I’d have the strength to stay up later than nine pm, even if I wanted to.” Maggie Jane rubbed her baby bump. She was now just over seven months gone and this session of chemotherapy was her second to last before her due date.
Then she would take a break to recover from the birth and start again. Surgery to remove the breast would follow, but it would be rebuilt at the same time. Then onto the radiotherapy. Hopefully by this time next year she would be cancer free and life could begin again.
∞∞∞
“You look sensational, darling.” Valerie was first on her feet to hug Maggie Jane.
“Do you really think so?”
“Gosh, yes,” she replied. “What do you think, Carol?”
“She’s right, Mags. You look absolutely stunning.”
“Don’t be getting any ideas,” Maggie Jane teased.
“Oh, I don’t know. I could be persuaded.” Valerie had her best poker face on.
“Behave yourself, all of you,” I chided. “She’s a pregnant woman after all.”
Valerie addressed the elephant in the room. “Have you told Spud?”
Every time I thought of that man, a one-armed bandit popped into my mind.
“Yeah, I emailed him and got no response, so tried again and it bounced back to me, so I guess that’s my answer.”