Something Wonderful Page 10

  We’d all had far too much to drink and cried but resolved never to let Maggie Jane see.

  “It’s not bloody fair,” Valerie said, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. I suspected there were residual tears for Andrew too.

  “She will be okay,” Carol said, trying to buoy us up. “Mags is one of the strongest women I know.”

  “What if it’s cancer, Carol, and she’s not strong enough?” I had to be pragmatic in the face of adversity.

  “You can’t allow yourself to think like that, Michelle.” Valerie blew her nose. “She’s young and with your help, our help, if worst comes to worst, she’ll beat it.”

  “I don’t want to lose my sister.” My words came out with a sob which set Valerie off again.

  “Jesus, we’re all going to look a fright with all this crying.”

  “I’m sorry, Valerie.” I was trying to pull myself together.

  “Come on, Shell, it’s all going to be fine.”

  I leaned my head on Carol’s shoulder and allowed the tears to fall.

  “Yes, darling, what Carol said,” Valerie chimed in. “And you have both of us to help anytime you need it.”

  “I don’t expect that. You both have your own lives.”

  “Bollocks to all that darling.” She sat up straight. “In the last few weeks, spending time with Margaret Jane has given me the will to carry on. You don’t know how sad I felt losing Andrew, and even with my girls, I couldn’t see a way forward, but your sister gave me a right royal boot up the arse and made me see sense.”

  “You should listen to Valerie and get used to what she’s saying because we’re both here for you, ready to give you anything you need.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far, darling Carol.” A look of revulsion crossed her face. “I’ll leave anything below the knicker line to you.”

  Carol’s mouth dropped.

  Valerie’s face was a picture.

  I tried to stop myself laughing but she was deadly serious in what she was saying.

  Seconds later we were all in hysterics.

  It was just what I needed and right then I realised how lucky I was to have them both.

  Valerie might be a nightmare, but she had a heart of the purest gold.

  As for Carol. I must have done something right to have found her.

  Chapter Twenty one - The Crying Game

  As it turns out, Maggie Jane had her scan ten days later, then it was time to wait for the results.

  Waiting had been the worst part so far. Sleepless nights, fingernails chewed down to stumps, no appetite, but it was nothing to what I guessed my brave sister was going through.

  It was torture for me, so God knows how it felt for her.

  I had Carol to talk to, but she offered little comfort as nothing could settle my disturbed mind.

  As it turned out, it was Valerie that shook me out of my funk. “Darling, get down off that cross, Jesus needs the wood.”

  I was shocked, but it was her way of making me see sense. Maggie Jane had cancer. I had to stop playing the martyr and making it all about me. I gave my head a relative shake and put my world in order.

  My sister would come first, then everything else could wait.

  My own state of mind mattered little because Maggie Jane clammed up, refusing to discuss what might be coming her way, but I knew that was just her defence mechanism kicking in.

  Still, I wasn’t alone in dealing with this.

  Richie had been amazing and was devastated to think his hard-faced sister-in-law, the one he had battled with; had been challenged by most over the years, could be ill.

  Dillon had taken it hard and retreated into himself, barely uttering a word, and to my shame, I had to leave him to his father as I didn’t have it in me to stay strong for everybody. My sister needed me more right now, and I knew my son well enough to know, he would understand.

  Today was results day.

  I forced myself out of bed, cooked a breakfast for us all that nobody actually wanted, or ate, then showered and dressed.

  I sat at the kitchen table my mind awash with every negative scenario it could conjure. If I got any bad thoughts out of the way now, should the doctor deliver the worst I’d be prepared.

  Dillon eventually went to school, albeit late, and under protest.

  “I wanna go to the hospital too.”

  “Look, you’re not coming and that’s that. You can see your Aunty Mags when you get home.”

  “I’m not going.”

  “You are!”

  “No, I’m not,” he yelled.

  I could see the frustration in him; it had been building for days, and I was the one he would use as a kicking board.

  Maggie Jane walked into the kitchen.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I wanna come to the hospital with you all.”

  “That’s sweet of you, kid, but only your mum and I will be allowed into the room, but I’ll be here when get home from school.”

  “What if…?”

  “Then we deal with it,” she replied, taking his hand. “I’m not gonna croak it, you know. No way!”

  “Promise.”

  “Scouts honour,” she joked.

  “You weren’t in the scouts.” A small grin crept upon his face, and for the first time I noticed the similarity between the two of them. Both bucked authority at the earliest opportunity, but underneath sat hearts of gold only a few would ever be loved by.

  “Yeah, you’re right, but my point is, if I have cancer, it’s not the end of me. When your mum and I are old and senile with purple rinses, you’ll be changing our potties.”

  “Forget it,” he replied.

  She pulled him into a hug. “I love you, shit face.”

  “I love you too,” he whispered.

  I wasn’t meant to hear it, but it touched me more than he realised. My son was decent, deep down, and when it mattered most, he stepped up to the plate.

  “Now get to school and give those teachers hell.”

  “Don’t you dare,” I protested.

  He picked up his schoolbag and skulked out the door.

  When he was out of earshot, she turned to me. “You know, I misjudged him.”

  “How so?”

  “He might be a gob on legs, but he’s a bloody good kid.”

  “Oh, I know, but it’s buried deep.”

  “Don’t mention anything, but every night, when he thinks I’m asleep, he creeps into my room and watches me for a minute or two.”

  “What on earth for?”

  “He’s doing the same as mum used to do; checking that I’m still breathing.”

  “Oh, God.” I wanted to cry. I remember mum doing that exact same thing. Dillon was scared she was going to fall asleep and die. “Bless him.”

  “There’s a big heart inside that chest of his.”

  I had never felt so proud of my son.

  I fanned my hand in front of my face, not ready to lose it. “Are you ready to go? Richie will be here to wish you luck soon.”

  Soon after, Richie arrived, insisting he would drive us to the hospital.

  There was silence for most of the journey.

  He pulled into a parking space near to the entrance.

  “I’ll wait here then take us out for a slap-up meal after you get the good news.”

  In my heart, I knew what the results would show, but I still allowed myself to think otherwise before reality came crashing down on me again. “That’s nice, eh, Mags.”

  She nodded.

  “Come on, let’s get this over with,” I urged.

  “Good luck, Mags.”

  “Thanks, Rich. I’ll see you soon.”

  I looked at him closely. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was close to cracking emotionally but was holding it together by the skin of his teeth.

  Maggie Jane and I held hands.

  The door to the oncologist’s office opened.

  I held my breath for a few seconds then released my breath.<
br />
  “Sorry to keep you waiting, Margaret Jane.”

  “That’s okay.”

  He opened the file and flipped through the pages.

  I wanted to yell at him to hurry up, that we’d played the waiting game long enough.

  He took a deep breath and I held mine again.

  “Right, I’ve got your test results back. I’m sorry to say you have cancer.”

  Just like that. My beautiful sister had cancer.

  “Am I going to die?” were the last words I heard before the floor rushed up to greet me.

  I opened my eyes.

  “Talk about steal my moment, Shell.”

  Maggie Jane looked down at me.

  “Oh, Mags.” Tears fell straight away. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t start crying or you’ll set me off. I don’t want to do that here.”

  “Where is the doctor?”

  “Seeing his next patient, I imagine.”

  “Where am I?”

  “In one of the side rooms. You were carried in here after falling off the chair.”

  I felt awful for fainting. I wanted to be there for my sister, and she ends up looking after me. “Then let’s go speak to him and find out what’s next.”

  “I already know what’s next, Shell. I have breast cancer and it’s spread to my lymph nodes too.”

  “What are they going to do?”

  “Chemotherapy first, then they cut my boob off, wait for me to heal then follow it up with radiotherapy.”

  “They want to take your boob off?”

  “Yes!”

  I couldn’t process this. “Oh, my God…” More tears.

  “Stop it, please,” she begged. “Let’s just get back to yours and we can talk about it properly.”

  “Ah, you’re awake, sweetie,” a friendly faced nurse said, stepping into the room with a cup of tea and a small plate of biscuits. “How are you feeling now?”

  “Like an idiot.”

  “Don’t,” she said. “It’s a lot to take in for some people.”

  “It’s not me that got the bad news.” I looked to my sister as my heart felt like it had been stamped on.

  “If you’re feeling okay, have a cuppa and eat a few of these biscuits, and you’ll be right as rain in no time.”

  “Yeah, get a move on. I wanna get out of here, the smell is making me feel sick.”

  I gulped the tea back, burning my tongue in the process and shovelled the biscuits in like a pig. Five minutes later, we were walking through the main doors toward the carpark.

  Richie’s face lit up when we appeared.

  “So, how was it?” he asked when I opened the rear door.

  I’d lost the power of speech and Maggie Jane remained silent as we took our seats in the back.

  I looked into his eyes through the rear-view mirror then shook my head, not wanting a barrage of questions.

  He never said another word and reversed out of the parking space before driving us home.

  ∞∞∞

  Maggie Jane took herself off up stairs as soon as she got inside the house.

  “I just need a bit of time to myself.” She looked broken. “Thanks for the lift, Richie.”

  I led him through to the conservatory.

  He slumped into the chair, deflated. “Jesus Christ, Shell. What did the doctor say?”

  “Cancer was all I heard before I hit the deck.”

  “Shit.”

  “They want to do chemo then take her breast off, Rich.” I lost control of my emotions and sobbed into my hands.

  Richie jumped up and cuddled me. “Don’t cry. You know Mags, she’ll beat this, wait and see.”

  “Radiotherapy too, and there’s no guarantee is there? What if she dies, Rich?”

  “She won’t die, you must be kidding. Not her. Stubborn as a mule that one, always has been.”

  “I can’t lose her,” I cried. “I just can’t.”

  I buried my head in his neck and cried. He didn’t speak. I knew he was crying too.

  Despite their bickering over the years, they were still family. He adored her, and even though she was reluctant to admit it, the feeling was mutual.

  “What’s going on, Mum?” Dillon stepped into the room. “Is Aunty Mags okay?”

  “Yeah, love, she’s fine.”

  “Then why are you both crying?”

  “Sit down, son,” Richie urged.

  He dropped his schoolbag on the floor and did as he was asked. “Just tell me, will ya?”

  I sat next to him. “Your Aunty Mags has cancer.”

  “Where?”

  “In her breast and lymph nodes.”

  “Is she gonna be okay?” His eyes filled with tears.

  I couldn’t bear to see my son cry. “She’s gonna be fine,” Maggie Jane announced as she strode confidently into the conservatory.

  “Mags, I’m sorry, he asked so I had to tell him.”

  “I don’t mind you telling him, but knock the tears off, all of you.”

  “You’re allowed to cry too, Mags.”

  “I’ll cry when it’s over with, Shell, and not before.”

  “But, Mags…”

  “But nothing, Michelle. I need my family to be strong for me. You can’t fall apart now because if you do, so will I, and that is not going to happen, okay.”

  “Okay,” I replied, wiping my eyes.

  “And what about twit and twat?” She nodded toward Richie and Dillon.

  “Okay,” they replied in unison.

  “You’re allowed one hug, then that’s it.” She opened her arms and both Richie and Dillon embraced her. A kiss was swiftly delivered to each of their cheeks and then she pulled away. “There. Done. Now smile for me, please because I really need you to smile.”

  I had to leave the room.

  She didn’t want to see my cry, but tears were going to come whether Maggie Jane liked it or not. I had to get that initial shock of emotion out of my system if I hoped to stand side by side with my sister and win the battle to kick cancer’s arse.

  Chapter Twenty two - A Welcome Distraction

  They didn’t want to, but Richie and Dillon went bowling after dinner. I insisted upon it. Besides, Dillon needed to vent, and his dad was the only person he would really open up to.

  Maggie Jane went to bed, her appetite all but gone. I wasn’t going to argue with her, not tonight, but food would give her strength for the fight ahead.

  I’d texted Carol and invited her over to talk, telling her the awful news that way, so I didn’t have to say it out loud.

  “How are you?” I held her close to me.

  “Never mind me, how are you?” Carol hugged me tight.

  “Tired, scared, feeling more alone than I ever have before.”

  “You don’t need to feel like that, Shell, not when you have me.”

  “It wasn’t what you signed up for.”

  “Mags is my friend you know. She means an awful lot to me too.”

  I don’t know where my mind was, but I suddenly thought of Valerie Walker. “Oh, shoot, I meant to call Valerie earlier but forgot.”

  “It’s okay, she called me, and I filled her in.”

  “I’m sorry you had to do that.” I could hear the tremble in my voice. “How was she?”

  “Devastated but determined she will fight alongside Mags.”

  “She’s so lucky to have you both as friends.”

  “That woman upstairs has pulled me out of more holes than I care to admit, and the thought of her not being here terrifies me too.”

  “We aren’t thinking like that though, are we?” My voice wobbled.

  “No, you’re right, we’re not.”

  I snuggled into her. She was warm and smelled good.

  “I’ve missed you, Carol.”

  “I’ve missed you too, Shell, but there are more important things right now. If it’s meant to be, our time will come.”

  I didn’t like the sound of that. In my mind I had our future mapped
out, but she was right; my sister had to be my priority right now.

  Chapter Twenty three - Cabbage & Sprouts

  Maggie Jane sauntered into the kitchen, a letter in hand. “It’s from the hospital.”

  I swallowed the piece of toast I’d been chewing. “That was quick.”

  “Probably for the best. Get it over and done with.”

  She opened the letter.

  “What does it say?” I asked.

  “I start chemotherapy three weeks on Tuesday, but I have tests before then, to check my liver and kidneys and to see how many blood cells I have.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  “Plus, more scans to see the size of the cancer.”

  “Okay, then we’ll be prepared.”

  “I need to go home and sort a few things out, the houses, collecting rent that sort of thing.”

  “You have a property management company that does all that for you.”

  “I need to update my will.”

  “There’s no need to do that, Mags.”

  “Yes, there is, Shell. If this doesn’t work, I need to make sure everything goes to you.”

  “I don’t want it, Mags.”

  “I’m worth a fortune,” she said with a smile.

  “No amount of money or houses could ever replace you.”

  “I’ll leave it all to Dillon then if you don’t want it.”

  “Yeah, you do that,” I replied. “But make sure he doesn’t get his hands on anything until he’s at least forty-five.”

  “I’m being serious, Shell.” She handed me the letter. “The less I have to worry about, the better I’ll feel, and these things are important. Let me do it, then I can focus on this fucking chemo and losing my hair.”

  “Okay.” I’d read online; a lot of women were more concerned with losing their hair, their identity, than having a mastectomy.

  “Thanks. I’ll head upstairs and get dressed then we can crack on.”

  “First things first, Mags.”

  “What?”

  “Breakfast.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “And neither am I but we need to keep our strength up, so if I’m going to do this with you and help ease the worry, you do the same for me, because you not eating will stress me out.”

  “If you say so.”